Thursday, February 2, 2012

The Askings of Heart

Ya Allah,
Sayangilah aku,
Sayangilah aku..
Tetapkanlah aku dalam agamaMu
Tetapkanlah aku dalam golonganMu
Permudahkanlah aku dalam kesukaran,
Lapangkanlah dadaku ini pabila ia kesesakan
Gembirakanlah daku apabila daku kesedihan
Dengarilah daku apabila aku meminta..
kerana Kau adalah Tuhan Yang Satu
Yang Maha Pengasih
Maha Penyayang pada hambamu yang meminta..
Yang ku cintai
Yang ku cintai
Tempat segala pergantunganku..
Tenagkan daku apabila ku dalam keributan
Bersihkan daku apabila ku kekotoran
Bukalah akalku apabila ia tertutup,
Ampunilah aku dalam semua dosaku.
Ya Allah, dengarilah aku, dengarilah hati & jiwa yang meronta ini.
Murahkanlah rezeki aku jika itu memudahkanku
Tetapkanlah hatiku padaMu, padaMu
Biarlah hatiku menjadi sungai yang mengalir tanpa halangan,
kecintaannya padaMu tidak dicemari statik.
Ya Allah, Ya Rahman, Ya Rahim...
Ingatkan daku apabila lupa,
Benarkan aku apabila sesat,
Kekalkan aku sebagai hambamu,
Dalam perjalanan ini menujuMu dan syurgaMu..

Alhamdulillah, after almost 2years of not writing, this little heart and mind was moved to share my extraordinary experience to finally embracing His Deen. Always the heart knows when it is weeping, depressed and wronged, and so many times, we rely too much on the world, the people in it, in expectations to fulfill our heart needs. Yet, there is no peace, no lasting contentment, no fulfillment, without the Will of Allah, and without our dependancy on Him.
Alhamdulillah, late last year, i was touched by something almost unexplainable, yet peaceful and beautiful, simple and fitrah to the heart. Islam. I was born in a Muslim family, raised as an Islam by name, yet, I have not realized i stray too far and far away from Him, and all of my miseries must have been of my neglect to Him. SubhannAllah. Thus, in all my intention, i finally chose Islam because i wanted to, because i believed in it, because it suited my heart, like what Rasullah s.a.w has said "that the heart be at peace at what that's good, and despair at what was to be bad". I chose Islam because of Allah's will, that my heart loves it. Loves it, loves it. I could cry for this. It is an overwhelming feeling that when you finally realize, you are free from the state of dependency to the world, and put your entire faith and believe in Allah s.w.t, that you feel at ease everytime you face Him, that you feel being watched and protected by Him, that finally, we humbled ourselves to Him. The Most Gracious, The Most Graceful, The Most Beautiful. I share to all of you so that you may know, that I am a Muslim by choice and faith in heart, and that I hoped, that if any of you see any wrong that I've done, i wish you to advice me, because advice is good. Insya Allah..Alhamdulillah for this life and peace be upon every one of you. :)

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