Thursday, April 29, 2010

senior-junior status

i don't understand what's wrong with some people
who thinks they can judge someone just because of age difference and junior-senior status?
it's crap that you have to establish that borderline when in real,
in Islam we were taught of something called Ukhwah and Respect.
if you want respect you have to gain it.
of course as an older sister we would respect you that's nature
but when the boundaries are crossed
we're not puppets left hanging to be played like a dump.
this thing may be caused by only one person
but i would like to notify anyone out there who sincerely believe that
a junior must respect the seniors, tell me,
in what way and how do you deserve that?
i may not be knowledgeable about sisterhood in Islam but i know
that respect comes from trust and not foul words or angry stares
or bad words behind our back.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

the present and the future: chapter unknown

i have this fear.
it's not the fear of failing that consume me,
i strongly believes in order to be better than before,
failing is one of a great way to go,
but learning from it is very important.
i don't mean that i would make myself failed my exams
just to experience the failing effect and the consequences after.
i always put my almost best in pursuit,
and this time i feel that i am doing my best,
but i still could feel a hole is missing,
and it is still not enough.
i am not scared of failing.
but i'm scared of being left behind,
by my friends.
it's hard enough to maintain friendship while we're
still on the same road,
to maintain it again when we're in two different path,
now that would be a challenge.
and i am afraid of my shame and pride.
my pride will be bruised.
now that is an issue i fear to face.
Ya Allah help me,
You are the Only that have the power to give
knowledge, success and victory.
amin, please pray for me,
family, friends.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

blue sky

as if you, the center of my universe
you seemed to complete
the half part of me
the blue sky
of serene beauty
silent, still.
as i move-but never away
i was,
am always are close
the blue sky
that spread up
of this little world
above the small little me.
i am the white cloud
of the color of your existence
i am the shape
your faithful sight?
i am the soft cotton
in your bed of blue sky.
the companion of your solitude scene.
the picture that completes you.
i am the white cloud
small significance
of your existence.

my almost perfect masterpiece.
i hope it is.

Friday, April 16, 2010

my baby sister

Spinning, laughing, dancing to
Her favorite song
A little girl with nothing wrong
Is all alone

Eyes wide open
Always hoping for the sun
And she'll sing her song to anyone
That comes along

Fragile as a leaf in autumn
Just fallin' to the ground
Without a sound

Crooked little smile on her face
Tells a tale of grace
That's all her own

Fragile as a leaf in autumn
Just fallin' to the ground
Without a sound

Spinning, laughing, dancing to her favorite song
She's a little girl with nothing wrong
And she's all alone
A little girl with nothing wrong
And she's all alone

"dear baby if you read this, you've grown so big..
i can't control you anymore, but i always wanted the best for you.
i remember you as my little sister, young and innocent and did nothing wrong.
but you're old enough to make your own mistake,
but i hope when you feel like doing something wrong,
and you did it,
just remember i'm here for you.
i'm your sister who will be with you to fix any broken part
and to be with you when you learned your lesson.
just don't go beyond where you cannot return,
because then, i'll lose you,
and i can't help you anymore.
remember me everytime you feel so.

your sister K.Daya

Thursday, April 15, 2010

determination: the present chapter V

i am going to write.
and write endlessly.
i shouldn't bury my passion for the life i am
having now.
no, one day i'll fulfill this dream of mine.
this beautiful dream of endless addiction.

thank you

the harder you're hit
the harder you throw your words to me.
the greater you shut yourself.
denying your faults or whatever reasoning you have.
it's almost impossible to handle.
and yeah, i guess i am not strong enough
to handle you who just so hard to bent.
so it's okay you can laugh at me.
insult me if you want.
call me the scared little girl.
call me anything, but i know i'm happy.
you're happy, nothing is bounded.
i'm free.
you're free, end of story.
sometimes, i just hate you.
and damn, i just wish it's enough to not love you.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010


and so i am just tired being the morbid emo me.
it's time for a change.
i want to stop concerning myself with why i am not a friend
like everyone was to you girls.
i'm tired of crying my eyes out, thinking that something is wrong with me.
i don't want to be selfish, but i am to be selfish.
if being a loner was my fate after all so be it.
it's way better than chasing approval or groups.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

an attempt

a soft cradle between arms,
a beating rushes the warmth
into her eyes.
she stares into the soft vast
of flooding tranquility.
slowly unfolding wordless truth.
as she stare
into those eyes
she saw nothing more
but more, of more
of love.

Monday, April 12, 2010

the past,present and future: chapter II

i guess i a am selfish.
greedy with very high expectations.
i already have enough.
a great man.
the best of friends you can have.
then, what else do i wanted?
it always seem to be never ending.
the edge where you kept pushing yourself to have more.
and it just kept hurting not only me, but the people around.
so i thought it's for the greater good.
for the so called-understanding and happiness.
does it?
was honesty really the best policy after all?
my honesty does not seem so.
i always wanted to keep my stand on things that i believe were true.
i guess my ego was the worst crash landing i adopted.
it's not good.
and it still hangs in the air.
and in the present, life seems not so beautiful anymore.

Now playing: The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - Your Guardian Angel
via FoxyTunes