undone

what's been in the past cannot be undone no matter how painful
it was and it were to be to us.
to me.
it was never in my power to live the life many people had,
to have as many friends,
to have wonderful
and cherished memories during the teen's life.
no, it was never made as my choice,
and i wasn't even given a choice.
here i am in the middle of the night babbling myself
all the way into the deep night,
but pretty sure no one would read this,
nor understand every single word that i meant.
it's okay,
this is just a perfect place to let my heart out,
to let it all out,
the anguish, the pain,
the confusedness that i had all these years.
my life is now, and tomorrow,
i shouldn't dwell in the past,
i shouldn't even think about it.
but sometimes things just trigger you out.
i absolutely hate that.
get away please,
please get away my mental picture.
it was something that i have lost years ago,
i shouldn't be dwelling on it.
you are all not important to me,
like i am
like me, who appears to be
non-existent to you all.